I WILL WAIT FOR YOU.... For sure,the first thing that come across your mind when u read this post's tittle is ELLIOTT YAMIN-WAIT FOR YOU.Yah sure it is kinda old school yet it has a very solid meaning behind those lyrics..Every single word of it means a lot to me.My boy,I will wait for you patiently no matter what.I have to for our own sake.If time and spaces are the two things that u really need right now,I will wait then.I believe that if U are really meant for me then u will be mine in the end and it doesn't matter what happen in the beginning or after it.Now,I feel so lonely,no more calling u in the middle of the night,no more waiting for your text during the day,no more busy looking for a top up.This is so tough for me.It is hard to control myself from not to keep in touch with you at all till the day has come.But then again,I have to.I will wait for you.
I m sorry because of the incident.Some how,it is my fault after all.But at least the truth has reavealed now instead of living with lies,drama and sadness.I never knew that I was being sellfish,I never realised it at all when it comes to you.The worst part is that I never asked about your wishes and dreams.I didn't see all these till the incident happened.If only I know all these early,I would change it.I didn't know that u r actually suffering slowly due to my attitude.U see I m very secretive especially when it comes to my privacy life.I don't like others being busy with my personal life.My friends?I m kinda anti-social actually.I only close to them during school hours or in class.I m not close with them at all when it comes to out side world.So,I don't tell them anything about my privacy life.Believe me,they don't know me well.I don't know them well too.On the other hand,u r a little bit different from me when it comes to these matters.U always spend time with friends,hang out,fooling around,watching movies together. I do know that I don't have a LIFE unlike u but I m still trying to mix around with others right now.I know that u r very close with them yet I didn't see 'it'.
Another bad attitude of mine is actually having a very low self confidence.It is not like I don't want to meet and know your freinds,it is just that I have this poor attitude.It scares me to the max to think about ur friends' opinions about us.I m scared to meet around with them because I think u will be embrassing to have me by your side.Every day,I wake up from bed and look myself in the mirror.I ask myself 'Why is it that I m such a fucking ugly creature?Why is it that I m such a shorty?Why is it that I m hunch?Why is that I have one eye brow,unsharp nose,ugly teeth and a very thin lips?Why is that I m such a jack ass?Why is that I m such a stupid student?Why is that I m very lazy?' Sometimes,I cry in the middle of night before go to bed to know that I have u who is way different from me in a lot of matters or fields.The thing that I keep questioning myself the most is 'Do I really deserve u whom is so perfect for me to have u?I think u should look for others,deserve some one who is way better than me.'Everyday,I try to look for the answers of my questions.I try to look at myself at a more positive side but I just don't have the ability to do so.I want u to know that to me u r way better than me,more hardworking and u have a LIFE even though I always nagging about u not being a sweet talker,romantic and stuffs.But deep down in my heart,I feel like u r such a perfecto person.
These attitudes are just so me.It describes me perfectly.What ever it is,I will wait for you.I m so sorry because I ain't good enough for you and I hope I will,one day.This long wait is killing me.Every day,my life goes on and I feel so empty with out you in my life.Please make the right choice and just so u know till now I still love u so much.I still care about you and I hope that u know u r very important in my life.I guess I really don't appriciate U that much till I have reach to a point where I m going to loose you?
With love,
Farah Ash
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