Letting go.

  Truth to be told, I miss some one out there so much. I realise that u are no more mine, I do realise that u already gave up on us a while ago ,I realise that u certainly have deleted me from ur life for once and for all. For now, I have totally lost u. I admit it is so tough for me to get through it by myself. But, just so u noe, I will always be here for u no matter what because every word that I gave to u is like a vow that I am bound to once I made it .I am still waiting for u to come back, for ur texts to fill up my inbox, for u to call me up every single day of my life. I just miss the moment of having u lying down in front of me and felt asleep easily every time u are piss off with me. I just miss looking at ur sweet smile, ur round eyes and ur one n only dimple. But, things have changed. There will be no more our memories, tears, laughter. I do believe everything happens for a reason but at this particular moment, I m just about to give up in life. Its like I have totally lost my reason to live. I m trying to get over u as time passes by but at the same time, I am still fooling myself in front of everyone else. U know why? Because despite the way u treated me in the past is so S***, I still keep on hoping for miracles to happen. I want miracles badly now. I seriously want u back in my life .I admit that I did so many mistakes in our past but everyone makes mistake n  deserves the second chance right? Mistakes are part of learning the meaning of life. Maybe u haven't realise how important u are in my life,maybe u don't realise that I m urs faithfully.Oh, God! Can’t I just have time machine to skip this part of life of mine? Or maybe the new cure for this hurt? Which ever it is, I think time is the right cure for now. When the time comes, I will start all over again. Just so u noe, I never regret a single thing that I did for u, in fact I m proud of myself for doing so. I m trying my best to let u go too but still hoping for the uncertain from u though it is painful wait.I told u before n I m going to tell u again n again;I m a faithful lover and ain't just another sweet talker or player.

PS:I just miss having u as some one so special in my life but I m just so lost.I just want my life to get way better than it is and is it too much?

                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                                                    With love,
                                                                                                                                                  Farah Ash.

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A letter that is only for u...

I saw people doing this;writing letter to future patner and I think it is kinda fun so I give a try on this.

  Dear my future husband,

  At this momment,we may have met each other or not yet?we may have knew each other but not well enough or maybe we are close yet so far way.Who knows?I just wanna u to know that I m writing this especially for you.Maybe it is too early because base on my future plan,marriage is something that I wanna to do by the time I m exactly 30(minimum age).Why 30?Because I wanna be really stable physically, emotionally  and financially.I wanna give the best to u and the upcoming family.I mean it.I dont want my family to feel or experience poverty like I had been through before.I wanna provide the best education for the kids.I wanna the kids to be smart,brilliant but not too much of NERDY.I wanna help u out in ur carrier in a way.Maybe,if u r into bussines,I can help u out financially.
  I wanna both of us to go to work together in our BMW car.We are going to hire a driver but not for us but for the kids.So that we don't have to rush to fetch up the children to and from school.We are so going to need a cook because I m very bad at cooking.Everyday I wanna u to drive me to work and right before I get my ass out of the car,U will tell me whether we are going to have lunch togehter or not.If I have important meeting or handling big cases,I wanna to listen to ur big ideas and wish me luck.I will not be too much on work,I promise!To me,work is important but not as important as family.
  I wanna us to live in a house that at least has mini library in it and a swimming pool.I hate reading but I wanna set a good example for the children,I can always try to be one...I want them to be a book worm while u can use it as your home-office.The swimmnig pool?I m a bad swimmer but it's never too late to learn something new in life.I m going to make sure that the kids going to be good at swimming and playing music instrument as it may help them in a way.We are so going to travel from one place to another.But,once in a blue moon,we are going to have our honey moons where it is going to be only two of us.Did I mention I wanna 3 kids?I have figured out the names..=)
  Everyday,we are going to wake up in each other arms,feeling so grateful to God for the bless and thakful for having each other for the rest of the life.There shall be no regret at all even if our marriage is not as beautiful as it supposed to be at that time.Whatever it is,we are going to overcome it together.Everyday,I m going to warm up our love in many ways.I am going to express our love in many languages non-stop.I will always try to be very romantic as much as I can;In fact,I m having so many ideas regarding it now.I m going to learn guitar,boost up my writing poem skills,learn the three powerful words in different languages,read more and more to get tips on how to be romantic.The part of life that u choose to spend it on me will always full of suprise.There will always something new that we are going to try out every day.Just sit back,enjoy the up n down of life with me by ur side,holding ur hand always and know that u will always be in my heart.

PS:I kinda support polygamy in a way but not fully.Others have problem on that?I don't give a damn about    it.=P

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LEFT AND RIGHT...

    Things change as time passes by with out we realising it.Sometimes,we wonder why is that things happen in a very offensive way?Why is that by the time we realise our mistake,it has been too late to undo it for most of us?Why is that we do not beware of the upcoming problem in the first place?Why is that the decision that we made earlier is turning to be a disaster?
  Well,firstly problems are just so meant to be in our life.With out it,our lifes will be so dull,unattaractive and not so advanterous after all.Some how,we do need it.Due to it,we will become stronger,more mature and more careful when it comes to every single matter in our lifes.For some,they can change to be some one new.Whether one self changes to be a better person or worse is depending on the way they look at it,the way they look at thier problems and the way they solve it.In the blink of an eye,we can turn to be some one who we do not even know.
  The momment it comes up in life,we will be start cursing it but then,by the time we manage to overcome it,we will be smiling to ourselves.We will be proud of ourselves,we will feel so refersh.What a relief!!!Label it all u want;problems,obsatcles,the headaches,the mystery,the questions and the puzzles in our lifes.We will never ever able to run from it.Just try to run from it once,u will realise that u will have to face it in the end.It does take time;for some,it might take a long time but patient is one of the ways to get out of it.In fact,it is the only way for certain cases.Yes,we do feel so sick about it sometimes but once again it is just meant to 'lighten' up life.Never surrender,give up and lose hopes in life easily.Taking all the time we need is also the key to get rid of it.
  Life is a cycle.We can be at the top ,we can be at the bottom in just few seconds.Sure thing that it is very easy to be said,very hard to be done and no one knows the exact feeling,the suffering and the experience of one self because not every one has the same problem;Maybe in the same topic but not in the same situations.Everyone is fated to have their own problem.Each of us envy each other when it comes to certain matter,we will never be grateful;that is just human being.It is always greener on the other side isn't it?So,when u look at one person whom u envy much,whom u salute,whom u feel as if it is better to be her or him,think again.Everyone has their own weakness and strength and God is always testing our faith in a lot of different ways.Never look at a thing from a single angle only instead look at it from many.I end up my post this time with poem entitled 'Left and Right'.This is actually the poem that I had put up in my power point project,the one that I wanted to put up over here but did not manage to do so..=)

When ever there is up, then there will be down…

When ever there is excitement, then there will be sorrow …

When ever there is trust, then there will be lies…

When ever there is triumph, then there will be disaster…

When ever there is love, then there will be heart break…

When ever there is positive, then there will be negative…

That is the true fact about life no matter how much we try to deny it…

It is just so unpredictable so be prepare…

As MAN proposes, God disposes…

Therefore, treat left and right equally always…

 

PS:I think that this is the first positive post in my blog.Hope there will be more :-/

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 Tell me is it a crime to be a faithful lover?Is it illegal at any place?Well,if it is then there will be no more 'Romeo' and 'Juliet' in the world.Why is that there are two type of lovers?the one who always put their hopes on that particular person ONLY and the one who is so not loyal,the one who thinks that being loyal to the one person is a part of embarrassing things to do,the one who thinks that the other type is an idiot for being a faithful lover.Honestly,is it a mistake to be one?Oh,come on.Love is blind,universal,complicated and unpredicrable.
  U can have it all of sudden and u can loose it in the blink of an eye.When u have it,u feel as if u are such a lucky person to have it,u just keep on smiling when it comes to Mr/Mrs Right Now,everything about him/her is just so perfect and when u look yourself in the mirror,u feel as if it is a dream.Perhaps the sweetest dream of yours?Then,u just can loose it the next time u look at it.Your world is tearing apart,your heart is shattering,tears non-stop,sadness,depress,disapointment are just everywhere.It is so mystery when it comes love.It is the sweetest dream yet the worst nightmare for one.
   I am sick waiting for the person pateinetly.I don't put the blame on anyone else for this.It is my fault for being a faithful lover after all.No offence,but if u think deeply,would u want a patner who is a  palyer?who text other persons when they with u?who ignore u when u call them just to show how much u care about them?I believe what goes around come around.What u did in the past may affect your future.Always treat the one who is always around u nicely.Never ever take them for granted..It is just the matter of time now.

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MAD & SICK.

  A few seconds,hours,days,weeks and a month back,I was so pissed with myself .Not just that,I am totally damaged by my own self, my own actions, my own choice.Things that I souldn't be done or even think about it,my unwanted nightmare,my painful history are now my best friends.REPEAT:My worst enemy ever is now my best freind.
   I cried non-stop,thinking about the mistakes,the regret,the 'heart-attack',the uncounatble tears,the unsolved puzzle,the unanswered questions when this particular part of my life RETURNS.Honestly,I really don't know the mistakes that I shouldn't be done in this path.I mean I can see it but it is unclear,uncertain.I am still confuse and looking for the missing piece.No one how much have I suffer because of this mistake except for Him.I m half mad,insane,depressed and stress at the moment.
  Everyday,I put up my fake smile,the have-to-laugh face,act as if everything is fine but the truth?I m dying inside alone,crying painfully and hoping for the impossibles.I don't even know to whom I should share my feeling,my tears,my madness.So,I decided to see a psychiatrist soon enough.Yes,I m officially SICK.
  PS:I m thinking about leraning guitar.Why?I want to be a romantic person and maybe turn up my poems to songs.

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